Getting By with A Little Help from My Friends

Last week I hit a wall.

I sat in front of my computer Thursday afternoon trying to find some words – any words – that I could offer for my CEO update. I had made a commitment at the beginning of this crisis to keep you informed and hopefully inspired during this time of crisis. But it all came down on me Thursday afternoon. I looked at a blank screen and cried.

I suspect many of us have hit our respective walls multiple times over the past few months. We’ve watched endless hours of frightening news reports. Many of us are newly negotiating shared space with our spouses and family. We wonder if we’re going to survive, much less thrive, in this new situation. This crisis is requiring new levels of personal strength and collective support.

What enabled me to begin tearing down that wall was a friend’s Facebook post that presented a chart of the Kubler-Ross Five Stages of Grief. My friend asked his network to share where we were along the path through Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. Reading the comments and seeing so many others speak of wavering between one stage or another was a truly cathartic experience. I wasn’t the only one who has been trying to bargain my way through this horrific loss of control over my life by reaching out to others and telling my story. And, I am not alone in hitting the wall that alternately paralyzes me or drives me to pick fights over trivial things.

The boundaries that I used to hold so firmly between my personal and professional lives have fallen away. The Amy who leads EXP is the same Amy who cries because she cannot see her father on lock-down in his nursing home two hours away. For many of us, this crisis has created a great convergence of our many selves. That is perhaps a true positive that comes out of this pandemic. It has also given me the blessing of a window into the hearts and minds of so many others who share my mental and physical space.

I’m really glad that I waited over the weekend to write this message because now I can mention the amazing experience that was Monday’s virtual guest speaker at Leuzinger High School. I watched our team pivot with grace and innovation to a virtual platform. I watched students participate from their bedrooms and kitchen tables and engage with a 19-year-old climate change activist. I saw that, indeed, EXP could continue to thrive in this new reality.

Today I see that we are all together in this crisis. I have been continually inspired by the acts of kindness and charity in my community, from individuals giving blood or volunteering their time at “grab a bag” food sharing, to corporations stepping up to keep investing in the communities where their current and future workforce lives, works and plays.

I am an optimist. I couldn’t do this job if I weren’t, and I believe that we are going to get through it together. We may need to adjust our timelines. We may need to innovate or change our business and program delivery models, but we will get through this.

I am so grateful to all of you whom I call my EXP family members, for your support, your inspiration, and your partnership in preparing students for a better life. We’ve got this, together.